GLENN BECK PROGRAM
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GLENN: Ten years ago she was pregnant. In the last ten years she hasn't had a chance to cradle her own baby. She hasn't had a chance to have a pair of innocent eyes gazing up at her with unconditional love, to feel that little hand slipping into hers, a little voice calling saying, "Mommy, Mommy." The very thought of it Toni now says makes her shudder with horror because when Toni terminated her pregnancy, she did so in the firm belief that she was helping save the planet.

This is one of the more incredible stories you will ever hear. She was sterilized at the age of 27 to reduce her carbon footprint. I don't know, Toni. You're still breathing. You breathe good oxygen in, you breathe good oxygen out. You know what I'm saying? The bad oxygen, you're leaving a pretty big carbon footprint. You're still eating. Maybe you should go to a doctor, see if they can euthanize you. She was so determined that the terrible mistake of pregnancy should never happen again that she begged the doctor who performed the abortion to sterilize her at the same time. He refused. She works for an environmental charity and she "Relentlessly hunted down a doctor who would perform sterilization. Finally eight years ago Toni got her way. At the age of 27, this young woman, at the height of her reproductive years, was sterilized to protect the planet. Instead of mourning the loss of the baby she killed in the womb, Toni relishes her decision." She says, "Having children is selfish. It's all about maintaining your genetic line at the expense of the planet." I don't think I've ever -- having children is selfish? Toni, Toni, Toni, hmmm. This clearly, from the lips of a person who has never had children. Having children is quite possibly the most selfless thing you could ever do. Believe me, you don't have time for yourself when you have children. You can't be selfish. They're always pooping and sneezing and cryin'. There's no time for you!

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She says, "Every person who is born uses more food, more water, more land, more fossil fuels, more trees, produces more garbage, more pollution, more greenhouse gases, adds to the problem of overpopulation." Ahhhh! She says, "While most parents view their children as the ultimate miracle of nature," she says, "They're a sinister threat to the future." Yeah, yeah.

She said, "When I started school, I got a job at retail and at 19 I met my first husband. No sooner had we finished our wedding cake than all of our relatives started to ask when we could expect a new addition to the family. I always told them it would never happen, but nobody listened. When I was a child I loved bird watching." Probably bought that damn bird book! "In my teens bird watching developed into a passion for the environment, as well as welfare for animals. I became a vegetarian when I was 15." A vegetarian? I scoff at vegetarians but let the vegans. "Even my parents used to smile. Well, you'll change one day. The only person who understood how I felt was my husband, who didn't want children, either." Of course not! He's a guy. He just wants sex without any consequence.

"We both passionately wanted to save the planet." No, he didn't. He just wanted to have sex with you. "Not to produce any new life that would only add to the problem. " Boy, that is the best thing. Stu, is that the best scam going?

STU: That's brilliant.

GLENN: Really is. Why didn't I think of that? Do you know how many babes you could bed when you were in college if you just would have said, "I care about the planet so much."

STU: Why do you think 50% of -- you know, you could basically cut the membership of all environmental organizations by 50% because there's always half of them that are guys that are just trying to hook up with the chicks.

GLENN: That's all there is. But you know what, environmental chicks ain't that hot.

STU: No, unless you like, you know, the underarm, you know.

GLENN: Whoa, whoa, whoa.

STU: I mean, some people like that, you know?

GLENN: That's nature. Let me tell you something. I don't use any of that awful deodorant, putting all of those chemicals all on the air and in your body. I like my woman to smell like... sweat, ooh.

STU: Just rub the fern underneath your arm. That's the way to do it.

GLENN: So she says, "Instead of mapping out plans for a family, Toni and her husband began discussing medical options to ensure they would never reproduce." Toni said, "When I was 21, I considered sterilization for the first time. I've been on the Pill for five years, didn't want to take a hormone-based contraceptive indefinitely. Then I went to my GP. He wouldn't even consider the idea. She said I was far too young and she told me I could absolutely not be sterilized, that I was bound to change my mind one day. I found her attitude frustrating." I know, don't you hate it when other people say that they know more than you do? Don't you hate that, Toni? I hate that when somebod highfalutin that says, oh, I'm better educated than you and I should decide for you. Yeah, yeah, I bet you hate that.

"We decided my husband would have a vasectomy instead. He was 25, a few years older than me. The GP allowed him to go ahead. I found it insulting that she thought because I was a woman, I'd reach a point where the urge to breed would overcome all rational thought." What, are you a rabbit? "When Toni was 23, her marriage ended. We married very young and we grew apart because he was about 30 and I was starting to get old and skanky and smelly, right? Tony's husband? When I'm right, I'm right, right? "Toni found herself youngish, single with a new life in London working for an environmental charity." Ooh, what a prize she sounds like so far. "While other women dream of marriage and babies, Toni was convinced it was her duty not to have a child. She claimed she was far from alone. Though my job, I had made many friends like me were more interested in campaigning, trying to change society and save the planet rather than having families of their own. Stu, do you have any rope?

STU: I think I can get some.

GLENN: Really? Something heavy? I've gained some weight while I'm on the road. I've got to find a chair. I've got to find a beam. I'm looking up at the ceiling and I just see all this tile up here, that acoustic tile. Those little things don't support. I've got to lift up some of the acoustic tile, see if I can find a big beam up in the ceiling. I need some rope.

STU: Might ought to think of cabling. I mean, no offense.

GLENN: Laugh, Dan. Laugh all you want. As I'm swinging, cabling some place, you won't be laughing then. I can't take it.

She said --

STU: Remember, Glenn, killing your -- you know, hanging from the rafters there would be good for the environment. That's the one thing you need to think about.

GLENN: "We used to say that if we ever wanted children we would adopt because there are so many children in need of a loving family." Uh-huh. Not as much children really as families, which is weird because so many people are having abortions, you know? Wish there were more children. "At least then we would be doing something positive for our world rather than something negative like breeding. Toni was happy at last with fellow environmentalists who shared her philosophy but then at 25 -- "I'm quoting the daily mail. "Then at 25 disaster struck. I discovered that despite taking the Pill I had accidentally fallen pregnant by my boyfriend." Sucks to be you. Probably shouldn't have had sex. You know what I'm saying? Besides, you know, you might get a rash on your butt from your hemp sheets.

"I went to my doctor and asked him about a termination," otherwise known as abortion, "But I told him I had accidentally fallen pregnant." I can't say somebody is, you know, stricken with a disability because that's politically incorrect. But fallen pregnant. Fallen. And accidentally.

Stu, do you remember those commercials: "Excuse me, you put your chocolate in my peanut butter."

STU: Yes.

GLENN: That's accidentally making a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. You don't accidentally make a baby. "Excuse me, you've got your man part in my lady part. You've got my lady part on your man part. Hmmm, this is delicious." You don't accidentally make a baby.

STU: Not that I know of. Well, I mean, certainly people, I guess there are, I'm going to call them mistakes at times.

GLENN: Tell me exactly how you accidentally. Have you ever, have you ever accidentally fallen into a copulation position?

STU: Well, I don't think the copulation would be the mistake but I think that there certainly are lack of a birth control function, maybe something not working.

GLENN: I got news for you. I got news for ya. You know, you're doing something like this where it is nature. For instance, you're in a car and you're driving really fast. You're a race car driver. You're driving really fast. It's not going against nature to not get into a car crash, okay? This whole act was made to create a baby. The accident is to not have a baby. The miracle, in a way, is to not have a baby because somehow or another man has stopped nature from happening. You know what I mean?

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