GLENN BECK PROGRAM
BEGIN TRANSCRIPT

GLENN: Oh, that is right, my friends. With talent on loan from the Nobel Peace Prize committee. Actually it's not as much talent as it is judgment, and I think that's important to have that kind of judgment when you're handing out Nobel Prizes or peace prizes that were named after the guy who invented dynamite. So -- yeah. Be an alcoholic by the end of the day. Well, I mean, I'm already an alcoholic, but I mean a practicing alcoholic. I've left the church of alcohol for too long. Maybe that's the only way this world will make sense to me. I think I -- paging Dr. Daniels, Dr. Jack Daniels. Glenn's studio, stat. This is the only way the world is going to make any sense at all.

What do you expect from an organization that nominated Benito Mussolini, Joseph Stalin and Adolf Hitler? So, you know, they got the whole thing down, don't they? They do, they do. Oh, by the way, Yasser Arafat, Yasser Arafat won a Nobel Peace Prize. That's a good one. And Jimmy Carter won a Nobel Peace Prize. So he is in good company and he's taking his victory laps now in, I would assume it's his G5, which is very nice. Which is, you know, it's better if he's on, like, a G5 or a G550, that would be really good because those engines are a little more fuel efficient than the old G5 or especially the G4. I mean, he wouldn't be flying around on one of those, would he? Does anybody know? Did he make it to Vienna on a commercial air flight or did he fly privately? I'm just, I'm just sayin'.

Al Gore, who invented the internet, is now $1.4million dollars richer after winning Nobel Peace Prize.

Dan, I need some appropriate music. I mean, we've got Al Gore. You got it? Comrades. Comrade Stu, have you heard the glorious news from the western front? Comrade Stu?

STU: What is it, comrade?

GLENN: The western front brings me news today that global socialism is right around the corner.

STU: Oh, bless the God that doesn't exist, comrade.

GLENN: Our good comrade friend Gore has won a Nobel Peace Prize, comrade Stu.

STU: What a shocker, comrade Glenn.

GLENN: Thank God for all of us. You know what is great, comrade?

STU: That's what?

GLENN: He didn't have a chance of losing because he was only, he was only running against a woman who saved 2500 Jewish children from the ovens.

STU: You mean Irena Sendler, comrade?

GLENN: I do.

STU: You are talking about the woman who is a retired Roman Catholic Polish woman from the war saw get oh by providing them false documents in hiding places while she risked their lives because if she was going to be punished by death if she were caught?

GLENN: Did I hear she was a socialist?

STU: Well, social worker.

GLENN: Oh, I was almost for her, comrade. Okay, so she did something with papers or something to 2500 kids in the gas chambers, but Al Gore has brought us the socialist glory of 21 feet of water in New York City. Glorious news on the western front!

STU: And luckily, comrade, he didn't bother pointing out that that estimate only includes if things stay exactly the same for, quote, millennia, end quote. Thank God, comrade, he didn't mention that.

GLENN: Thank God God doesn't exist, comrade, I back you on that.

STU: Of course. Don't execute me. That was -- I was quoting -- I didn't mean --

GLENN: It has been a glorious week. It has been a glorious week.

STU: Progress.

GLENN: Progress, comrade.

END TRANSCRIPT