GLENN BECK PROGRAM
BEGIN TRANSCRIPT

GLENN: Colorado schools have banned tag on its playgrounds. I'm having a hard time with this one. For as evil as I think tag is, you know, I worked tirelessly to make sure we didn't do dodge ball. Dodge ball, they are throwing a ball at you. How are you expected to survive, you know? Red Rover, Red Rover, send so-and-so right over? I was never picked. It lowered my self-esteem. I mean, he was always the last guy. Red Rover, Red Rover, send anybody but Glenn over. Can you check in the classroom, see if there's anybody doing their homework. Where's Arnold? Can you call Arnold's mom, see if he can come out to play because we definitely don't want anybody -- we don't want anybody named Glenn to come right over. Oh, it's tragic. So hopefully we can get Red Rover, Red Rover banned as well.

But now in Colorado schools have banned tag on its playground because some children complained that they were chased. Just a second. I'm sorry. I just want to -- they're playing tag. Tag, tag, tag... tag, and they were being chased. Well, what will they think of next? Now kids are chasing each other during tag. My gosh, what's next. One of the assistant principals of the Discovery Canyon school -- may I ask, please tell me, Colorado, that's called Discovery Canyon that that's the town or the area? It's not like, hi, welcome to Discovery Canyon School; you can discover all kinds of things. Doesn't that just sound politically correct?

She says that the running games will still be allowed as long as you don't chase each other. May I ask you a question? When you were in the third grade, isn't that pretty much what you did all day? When you would go out and you'd play on the playground, you'd chase each other? Right now Cheyenne just learned how to walk and every day I look down at my -- I look down at my webcam and for, like, an hour all they're doing around the house is chasing each other around our -- we have this enormous coffee table in our living room, and all they're doing is chasing each other around the coffee table. That's what happens with kids. That's what they do. And I don't know if you've missed the -- well, I haven't seen tag's rules in quite some time, but isn't that it? They chase you? You try to outrun them so you're not it and then when you are it, you chase somebody?

Here's an idea. Kids, if you don't want to be chased, stop running. Then they'll tag you. Then you chase them! That way they can have their attorneys call your parents and sue you for chasing them as opposed to your attorneys suing them for chasing you. It's incredible.

Two parents have complained about the ban on tag but most parents and children didn't object, the assistant principal said. Yeah. You know why? That's because they're all dead now. They're all just, their souls have been sucked out of them. They just might as well, they're in their house now and they see on the news... "Oh, looks like they've banned tag" and they're just sitting in their living room, of course we ban tag; I mean, why not ban tag. Kids are being chased. Honey, do we have anything in the house that I can overdose on?

I mean, that's what's happening to us! We're not complaining anymore because we know it won't make a difference! We're sheep. Banning tag.

END TRANSCRIPT