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Proms and Condoms don't mix!
By Al
Ruechel | 03-21-02
Here we go again. Prom is just around
the corner and that means condoms can't be far behind. You know,
those funny looking synthetic membranes that will save the world
from death, destruction, unwanted pregnancies, and poverty. Heck,
they may cure cancer and baldness and stop wrinkles and make us all
rich at the same time. They are the universal panacea.
Of course, we all know that since
high school proms are just around the corner that every good little
boy and girl will throw down in the back seat of their cars or rent
rooms in hotels or even shack up in their parents bedrooms or have
sex somewhere. IT'S JUST EXPECTED. This is normal behavior,
something everybody does like breathing or eating or scratching when
you've got an itch.
Both of the above are huge lies. But
not in the minds of a lot of high school students who's sexually
behavior is often times modeled after cheap Hollywood sex fests like
American Pie I and II. Have you checked the teen pregnancy rate
lately? Have you noticed the number of high schools that now offer
day care for those cute little sophomore and junior and senior, and
yes, freshman girls who "somehow" got pregnant by their
brain-dead boyfriends? Did you know last year over one-million
abortions were performed in this country for unwanted pregnancies?
Enter Plant High School (Plant City,
FL) senior Christina Hernandez. She's the feature writer of a high
school newspaper and stirred the condom pot by writing an article
calling for the free distribution of condoms at the high school
prom. She wrote in the article, "I would rather my peers be
safe. I wish everyone would stay abstinent. I wish there were no
diseases or unwanted pregnancies. But it's a reality, teenagers have
sex." She also included a survey in the article of four
students who favored distributing free condoms and a school resource
officer who was opposed. Not exactly a cross section…but she
tried.
At first, the Hillsborough County
school district refused to publish Christina's article, but later
gave in as long as a disclaimer was published next to the article
indicating this wasn't the official school line.
Good for the school. And good for
Hernandez for having the compassion and concern about her fellow
students to want to make a difference. And better yet, good for
Hernandez for making this statement, "I am going to the prom. I
will not have sex after prom."
There is the nut of this story! Would
it be more effective and productive and long lasting to give out
free condoms at the prom OR for more girls and guys to publicly
proclaim before their classmates they are not going to have sex at
prom? Yes, teens are going to have sex, but offering free condoms at
the prom is just an absolute invitation and an endorsement of this
behavior, which has more deadly consequences now than ever before.
We're not talking about embarrassment or zits here; we are talking
about life threatening diseases and life changing pregnancies. You
ought to visit some local college counseling offices and see how
many gals are dragging their little ones behind them as they
desperately try to make plans for a future that doesn't include a
male partner, alias, a husband. Would a prom condom have changed
their future? No. The behavior needs to be changed if you intend on
changing the outcome.
Consider these numbers:
In a survey of 150 high school gals who got pregnant out of wedlock,
(Kaiser Institute, Jan. 2000) 78 percent said their boy friends had
condoms but stopped using them because they didn't like the way the
felt, or because it was too awkward putting them on. Only 5 percent
said they didn't use condoms because they weren't available.
That same survey showed that nearly
58 percent of those who got pregnant came from divorced homes.
Only 28 percent said they had
conversations about condom use with their "date" before
they had sex.
Only 37 percent said their parents
had explained clearly to them their opposition to pre-marital sex.
And here's the stinger. Seventy-one
percent of these moms said they wished they had waited. They didn't
say they wished they had used condoms, they said they wished they
had waited to have sex until they were older. Do I see a pattern
here?
The National Institute of Health
(May, 1998) says the rate of condom failures to protect against
unwanted pregnancies and diseases among high school aged teens are
as high as 3 in 10. Let me make that simpler. Of every ten guys and
gals that use condoms three will either become pregnant, become
exposed to a sexually transmitted disease, contract HIV, or
experience some other health risk associated with adolescent sexual
encounters.
Hello! Is anyone out there? Do you
want to play Russian roulette with your daughter or son?
To be fair, the NIH does estimate
that if EVERY sexually active teen used condoms regularly we could
see a 15 percent reduction in unwanted pregnancies. Of course, they
also admit that kids would be having sex more often. There's also
this little nagging problem that it would negate any abstinence
messages or religious teaching that sex outside of marriage is
morally wrong.
Listen, Christina, I think your heart
is in the right place. I applaud you for trying. But giving out free
condoms at the prom isn't the answer. Just talking about it in the
school newspaper and telling your friends that you're not going to
have sex may have done more then you can imagine. Keep up the
dialogue! Schools can't give out free condoms at prom because if
they do they could be sued if any student who used one gets pregnant
or comes down with any sexually transmitted disease.
It's called the price of being an
adult and the cost of engaging in adult behavior. If kids are going
to be mature enough to have sex on prom night then they are mature
enough to walk into any drug store, any convenience story, and buy a
condom for themselves. If it's embarrassing to them or they are
afraid that mom and dad might find out then they need to heed the
warning that what they are doing may be wrong. If they can get by
that step, then so be it. It's their choice for better or worse!
Al Ruechel, copyright 2002, all
rights reserved
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