Here’s what I hate about government. If you want to tax me than be bold about it. Step up to the bar, take the tax gun out of your holster and point it at my head and say pay up! I want it clear and understandable and in black and white. I’ll send you a check. I may not be happy about it but you don’t get something for nothing. It’s those hidden taxes and fees that drive me bonkers because no one can explain what those fees are, how we got them, or the logic behind them.

Take you phone bill for example. You can have mine if you wish. According to Consumer Watch, just 20 years ago taxes and fees made up less than 8 percent of your basic service charge. Today, on average, for your home telephone service, you and I are paying 31 percent. And if you have a cell phone that rate is a whooping 42 percent or higher, depending on usage. According to my last phone bill from Verizon I was taxed by the state, by local government, by the federal government, by emergency services, for universal connectivity fees, to help pay for the lines that run to our homes, to off set the money the phone company is losing to cell phones, for having an unlisted phone number, an FCC access charge, gross receipts tax, a portability fee and finally, the latest blow to our pocketbooks, the Federal Universal Service Fund. Those charges made up 39 percent of my phone bill. Enough is enough!

So here’s what I did. I called three different phone companies and talked to a total of 9 different customer service folks about the taxes and fees I was charged. They all had about the same answers, which they read off their computer screens. “I’m sorry, “said one of the gals, “that’s all the information I have. I honestly can’t tell you what these all mean or how they got here.” Thank God she was honest. As I joked with some of the other service folks about writing the commentary they admitted the fees change so often even they get confused. Hey, and last month even the phone company got so confused they forgot to charge Tampa Bay area callers the USF fee. Wasn’t that nice of them to tack it on this month?

And do lots of folks call and complain about the additional fees and taxes? No, very few complaints. We are such stinking sheep! Then again, how can you complain about something you don’t understand? Four of the reps passed me on to their supervisors who, in an effort not to piss me of put on their smiley faces and gave me the company line. “These fees are all approved by the FCC and local and state governments. Everything is clearly printed on the bills and we’d be happy to explain them to you.” Translated? We’ll read the screen and you nod you head and say thank you.

Here’s the truth! Like many companies the phone companies are having a hard time financially. The rates for their services continue to drop from local calling to long distance. So they get their high paid lobbyists together and go to Washington and beg and cry and paint all this gloom and doom so the FCC will create additional fees they can pocket. And the FCC, in it’s wisdom, wants to make sure all those elderly and poor families can always afford phone service so we are charged an additional fee to help subsidize those most in need. You and I don’t get any say in these matters. The Public Service Commission and other government regulators are given the authority to determine what’s fair and in the best interest of the industries and, we the people. Some folks argue all these additional fees and service charges are nothing more than taxation without representation. The ghost of King George is lurking near!

But it doesn’t stop in Washington. The state has to get its share of tax revenue. Local governments both in the counties and cities have also found a mini pot of gold in these utilities. They charge franchise fees and emergency operations fees otherwise called municipal service tax units on your tax bill. Again, you and I aren’t questioned or polled or are even part of the equation. We have to trust our politicians and trust the big utilities companies that their billing practices are accurate.

Are you getting the picture? This is the new way of taxing us without calling it a tax. It’s adding a teaspoon of sugar to the medicine, or is it poison? The phone company does it with incredibly complicated bills that no one, not even the employees fully understand. The federal government does it by giving in to the lobbyists who paint Armageddon if additional fees aren’t imposed. Local politicians buy into the fee lingo because they’re desperate for operating capitol and know if they pass an out-and-out tax hike they’ll kiss their jobs good bye. And on and on it goes and grows.

So, the next time someone suggests to you that your taxes aren’t all the high ask them to take out their “blank-it-E-blank” phone bill, or property tax bill, or water or utility bill and explain what each charge line by line means. Hidden or not, a tax is simply an instrument designed to separate you from your hard earned money. Disguising it in sheep’s clothing doesn’t change the wolf hiding underneath.
 

Al Ruechel, Copyright 2003, All Rights Reserved

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