By the time this commentary is published several days will
have passed since the death of Tony Dungy’s son, James. Maybe
the shock will have worn off a bit both in Tampa and in
Indianapolis by then but I doubt it. Maybe the coroner will have
found his death was not caused by an overdose but some other
medical fluke condition that went undetected until now. It won’t
make it an easier to take but maybe easier to understand.
I still remember that day in July when someone from the Bucs
office called me at the Christian Television Network to see if
we’d be interested in talking with the new Buccaneers head
coach. To be truthful I didn’t know much about Tony except that
he was a tremendous man of faith. He lived his love for Jesus in
his everyday life and quietly went about the business of sharing
his faith in tangible ways like feeding the poor, lending his
name to organizations that promoted the role of Christian
fathers in the home, working with Abe Brown’s prison ministry
and the local boys and girls clubs.
Our videotaped TV conversation lasted nearly three hours that
we edited down to a one-hour special. I came away so impressed
with his sincerity, his straightforward inspirational approach
to life, his love for his family, and his desire to give back to
the community for the privilege of coaching a team of men
“playing” a game. There is absolutely nothing fake or put on or
contrived with Tony Dungy. He is real, he is intelligent, he
knows why God placed him on the earth, and he is human. I cried
when I heard he was being fired by the Bucs organization and
cheer for him now as his team sets record after record. Add one
final attribute; he is universally loved by thousands in Tampa
Bay and in Indianapolis.
Now come this blow that would cripple any normal human. Good
looking, sideline sidekick for years, the kid who sprang up to a
height of 6 feet 7 inches in front of our eyes, James Dungy is
gone. We’ve learned he had some troubles before. He was actually
taken into custody for a possible drug overdose in October of
this past year. His Dad worried about him moving back to Tampa
this past fall to go to Hillsborough Community College. James
had attended Gaither High School and Tampa Catholic and had
plenty of Tampa connections. Still, Tony had asked some of his
old players to kind of keep an eye on James. None of the
precautions would help. Without warning it appears James
committed suicide.
I know something about suicide. One of my best friends, Jim
Cairo, took his life a number of years ago. My four children
thought of him as one of their uncles. He called me two days
before taking his life and I didn’t detect his despair as he
joked about getting another year older. His closest friends were
even more shocked at his death. It is only after the fact that
we put together the pieces of this dark puzzle that would claim
his life.
This is the question that will hound the Dungy’s for years to
come. They will not find comfort in those answers. They will ask
themselves over and over again, “what could we have done
different?’ The answer is nothing. What happened was supposed to
happen. Man is born and man will surely die. The only way our
spirits and souls can be removed from our bodies is for the old
Adam to lay down his claim and the new Adam, Jesus Christ, raise
us up from the dead. That will surely happen with Tony and you
and me AND James Dungy.
Don’t look for me to condemn James’ soul or the soul of my
good friend Jim to any place but the side of our Savior. Too
much can happen in the last fleeting moments of life of which we
are never aware. I know the Bible tells us it’s a sin to take
our own life, to play God, as it were. But the message of Jesus
Christ, the reason we celebrated Christmas, is not that Jesus
was born, it is because Jesus chose to lay down his life, to
die, so sin, suicide and all the other lies of the devil, would
be taken into the pits of hell and left there for good while we,
in our new bodies, will be risen above the angels to sit at the
right hand of the Father. That is the hope the Dungy family will
cling to for the rest of their lives. They will still hurt and
blame themselves. They will now fret more over their other four
children than ever before. They will look for those almost
transparent signs that might indicate trouble ahead. They will
fall to their knees and cry unto the Lord like Job. And like
Job, through all the turmoil and lose and human humiliation and
finger pointing, they will end up the victors in Jesus Christ.
You will see them triumph, not because they chose to do so with
some 12 step program or hyper-exaggerated attention on the
overall problem of teen suicide. They will triumph because the
God of Jacob has chosen to honor them with His presence and
strength, as He does all men and women who call Him their Lord
and walk THROUGH the valley of the shadow.
To quote a verse from a popular song by the Christian rock
band “Jars of Clay”.
When death like a gypsy comes to steal what I love
I will still look to the heavens I will still seek your face
Though the pain is an ocean tossing us around, around, around
You have calmed greater waters higher mountains have come down
I will sing of Your mercy that leads me through valleys of
sorrow
To rivers of joy
(Editors note: Al Ruechel is the minister of music for Grace
Christian Fellowship in Largo, Florida as well as senior anchor
at Bay News 9.)
