Can we be perfectly honest? I don’t know why people care so much about what happens to Paris Hilton. No, let me restate that. I don’t know why we think people care so much about Paris Hilton. There are people starving in Darfur. Our troops continue to suffer at the hands of Muslim extremists. We are in a drought with wild fires raging out West. And Tampa has been named the worst city out of 40 when it comes to an environment conducive to young professional workers. Yet, it’s that simpleton Hilton that grabs all the headlines as she struts like a Cheshire cat out of the jail and into her waiting limo. I heard one reporter say there were over 100 cameras waiting outside the jail to catch a glimpse of the blonde nymph trotting to freedom. Don’t you love America?

For those of us in the news business this is a real dilemma. We don’t like it one bit. No sane newsperson can watch all those cameras and live trucks and floodlights and flashing cameras without cringing. It makes me want to go to the sink and wash my hands. I feel like when I’m walking down the grocery aisle folks are pointing at me and laughing. “There’s that pandering Paris Hilton cheer leader.” “Look honey, there’s Al Hilton. I mean Paris Ruechel. Oh, you know what I mean.” And yet, on our news, we ran nearly a two-minute story from CNN on the triumphant return of Hilton to her family, as if Al Qaeda had held her captive for years.

Here’s the logic we use in this “danged if you do and danged if you don’t” scenario. We know it stinks and it is Hollywood pulling the nation’s chain. We know it has no cultural relevance. We know she is a spoiled, mixed up publicity seeking, in my humble opinion, sleaze. She has done nothing with her life of any significance. She doesn’t play the dumb blonde, she IS the dumb blonde. Her only claim to fame is her Dad who happens to own one of the largest hotel chains in the world. That’s it. Period. End of story.

No, it’s not. You like this stuff. You buy it standing in line in the supermarket. For Pete’s sake some lady in Publix last week asked me when I was going to get to interview Paris and could I “please” get an autograph for her granddaughter. What kind of granddaughter is this woman raising anyway?

For whatever reason, we’ve all become minutia freaks. It’s a diversion from the ordinary and humdrum get up in the morning, drive to work, put in your 8 hours and head home again routine. TV ratings go up when Paris is on the air. That’s not fiction. It is the truth. It’s the poor little rich girl you love to hate, except for that nutcase who tried to high-five the prosecutor as he was talking to the media about Hilton’s release. “She’s free. She’s free. She’s free,” he kept screaming over and over again. What was that all about!


And let’s talk about the 24-hour cable networks that spent hours and hours every day analyzing to death every aspect of this non-story. And did you read about all the fighting for the exclusive prison release interview? We still don’t know for sure if NBC was actually going to pay Paris one million dollars for her first interview or if that was a publicity stunt. And did Barbara Walters actually say it was “below her” to interview Paris? Doesn’t seem to bother Larry King who’s getting the interview without “trading a player to be named at a later date.”

Here’s the part that really gags me. Those stupid helicopter shots following the Hilton van to their mansion. What are we hoping to see? Is it suddenly going to turn into a “transformer”? Is Paris going to get on top of the van and pull off a Michael Jackson? Is OJ waiting somewhere along the road?

And here’s the kicker. We actually got a call from a person who wanted to know why we didn’t carry the Hilton release “live”. Well, hello! It isn’t stinking news. This is fluff of the fluff. We are trying with every fiber in our journalistic bodies not to give in to the tabloid poison pulsing through the veins of otherwise reputable news organizations, whatever that means.

The only encouraging bit of news to report is that your attention span is even more fleeting than Paris Hilton’s fame. Can’t you just wait to see whomever else the media crowns to take her place tomorrow?

Al Ruechel, Copyright 2007, All Rights Reserved

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