It’s an epidemic we have come to accept. In 2003, in the U.S., 7 out of every 10 African-American babies was born out of wedlock. Now wait at minute. The number of out of wedlock births among whites was 3 in 10. Maybe I’ve become numb to the downward spiral. Just some more numbers!

Then, I saw this number…800-thousand. That’s almost one million children! When I say this statistic I nearly fell out of my anchor desk chair. That is the number of children in the state of Florida who do not know the names of their biological fathers. The number in the U.S., according to government statistics is estimated at between 20 to 27- million. These are kids that don’t know their names because their mom’s don’t know who impregnated them. They don’t know their names because their mom’s don’t want their children to know. They don’t know their names because their moms wanted sex so bad they didn’t care who they went to bed with. They don’t know their names because women don’t need men except when they want to get off. They don’t know their names because their piece of crap fathers are no better than a bunch of pigs wallow from sow to sow rolling in their own excrement. When this country collapses in its own moral sinkhole historians will look back at these numbers and our total disregard for human life and lack of sexual discipline, which is now reminiscent of the Romans or the Greeks.

What gets me most is that we have come to accept children being born out of wedlock as if its progress. Recently a 57-year old unmarried woman give birth to twins. The media swarmed this proud mom. Oprah had her on TV. Editorials praised this scientific accomplishment. One of my co-workers thought it was “so cool.” What courage and what determination to finally get what she wanted so badly. When I asked her if she didn’t think the woman was being selfish and would likely be dead before either of her children get married she looked at me with a blank stare, “Who says here kids have to get married!” What is she thinking! It’s not just about the stinking woman, what about her kids? Are they just her play toys or pets? Don’t they have a right to have the love and guidance of a father? What do you tell them? “Your father loved you so much that he deposited his sperm in a test tube for $50 bucks a shot and didn’t leave his name.” “Well, I was just too busy and you know, Mommy just couldn’t find any man she loved enough to get married.” “You don’t need a daddy. I’m here and can give you everything you need. And there’s your Uncle Netska, he can play with you whenever you want. You don’t need a daddy!”

Let me state this clear and loud! The best environment for raising children is a loving father and mother in a committed relationship. There is not one single study that contradicts that ideal environment. Those who think just a mom or just a dad or just a gay man or a lesbian women can provide all the needs for a child are nuts. My wife and I have four wonderful children and it has taken every ounce of energy in our bodies to pour into them the lessons they need to be good, caring, loving, God-fear beings. Kids desperately need the influence of two parents, a man and a woman, who bring their own gender unique qualities into the parenting mix. That’s the way God intended it. That’s the way it works best.

Unfortunately, because we don’t live in an ideal world and men and women don’t always get along and provide the loving and nurturing atmosphere children deserve, we live in a society where kids are forced to adapted to whatever garbage some pass off as parenting. Children survive and live because there is no other choice. My own parents got divorced when I was seven. I hated it and cried my eyes out for years. I wanted so badly to find “that piece of paper” and burn it. That would show them! But I survived because I was determined not to let the events ruin my concept of love or my optimism about the future. God poured a supernatural amount of acceptance and tolerance into my life for my all-to-flawed father and step-mom and real mother.

Still, when we set the bar, when we determine what the ideal standard is for raising healthy, well-adjusted and happy people why do we set our standards so low? Are we afraid that proclaiming marriage and two parent families as the ideal is a slap in the face for the hundreds of thousands of adults who can’t meet that standard? Maybe it is a slap, but we all know it is the truth. I do respect the many single parents I know who are working so hard to be the best they can for their kids. We should offer as much support and encouragement as we can. But we should also stand up and scream from every street corner, “Every kid deserves the right to have a mom and a dad.” Your personal “satisfaction” or your “need to have children” just because modern science can make it happen out of the natural bonds God designed should not be tolerated. We should want the best for all children.

When we sit back and accept that 800-thousand figure, or the 20 to 27-million as the cost of doing business in our society today, we have given up on our future. I’m not willing to make that kind of sacrifice.

Al Ruechel, Copyright 2004, All Rights Reserved

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